This concept will help you hold the space in your coaching sessions.
When we first start coaching, we are learning to listen to our client’s words without judgement.
We all judge sometimes and it doesn’t serve ourself to beat ourself up, EVER. So remember to show yourself compassion.
We can however use tools to improve our coaching skills.
One of them is to be aware of the definition of words. We all define words differently. When we acknowledge this, we become more curious. We can coach ourself and our client with less judgement and more openness. We become better coaches.
It’s a simple concept. It just asks that we don’t assume that we know what someone means. We are sceptical. We seek more information in order to clarify how our client defines the things they say. And when we are curious in this way, we are creating awareness for our client.
Think about these words and sentences:
A long time
The petrol tank was almost empty
Some of these definitions we might agree on. We might have a shared belief system with our client, but until we ask, we don’t know. So ask. Get specific.
What does big mean, how big? Tell me in cm or inches?
A long time, hmm interesting, how long exactly?
I think my petrol tank is almost empty actually on some days at about 1/6 and other days I’m like, “I’ll just wait until it’s start flashing” – even my definitions change.
Can you see how when you acknowledge that what I am thinking of could potentially be completely different to you, we create more understanding and awareness? Help your clients see their current thinking, so they can decide on purpose, what they want to think.