Do you think that your desire is innate? I’m talking about desire for food, desire to exercise, desire to work, desire check your mobile phone or even desire for your husband.
Your desire is within your control.
Let me say that one more time. You can control your desire. You can increase it. You can decrease it.
This is great news. If you want to lose weight, it means you can decrease your desire for food. If you want to increase your desire for your husband, its totally possible too.
In order to understand how to control your desire, you have to understand how desire is created in the first place.
Desire is created in our brain. It’s created with our thoughts and it’s consolidated with the neurotransmitter dopamine.
Let’s start from the beginning.
A newborn baby doesn’t desire ice-cream. It doesn’t know what it is, so it has not desire for it.
Then we give that baby a little taste. The ice-cream triggers the release of a neurotransmitter called dopamine. Dopamine drives the baby to seek the reward of more dopamine. The baby wants more ice-cream. This is how desire is created. When we reward this desire, i.e. when we give the baby more ice-cream, we increase the baby’s desire for ice-cream. We increase the baby’s desire. This becomes a habit. The baby goes crazy for ice-cream.
Add to this the cultural beliefs we hold around food. We view ice-cream as a reward. We use ice-cream as entertainment. It’s established as something that is desirable.
This is how we desire is created.
Our world is now so full of these rewards. They are no longer natural rewards, they are concentrated and intensified rewards. When we experience this, we get a huge hit of dopamine that drives us to take action again. We end up having OVERdesire for the things we routinely rewarded ourselves with. This is a problem because the things we OVERdesire are having a net negative effect in our life.
Our desire is finite. It’s limited. So when we focus our desire on those false pleasures like chocolate ganache, soft cheese, Moet and Chandon, Netflix, social media likes… we don’t desire the things in life that give us a natural hit of dopamine any more. The things that we used to desire and use for pleasure such as a berry, procreation, a piece of kale, warmth and human connection are no longer enough.
In order to decrease our desire for food, we just have to engage our evolved brain – the prefrontal cortex. We can use this part of our brain to make conscious decisions ahead of time. We can decide on purpose what we want to think about the things we currently desire. We can use our knowledge and understanding of our brain to reduce desire. We do this simple by not rewarding the desire with false pleasure. We teach our brain to enjoy the dopamine from natural pleasures again. When this becomes our habit, we can drink one glass of wine, when we want to. We can have chocolate ganache and not eat the whole cake. We can refocus our desire to the bedroom.
In my weight loss program, I teach you how to make these changes and I teach how to not reward the desire, without using will power.
If you want to learn more about this, email me your questions here.
Image by Igor Rand.